I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
