So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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