Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
