yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
