I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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