yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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