i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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