How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
