i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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