I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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