Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
