after a month anything with tits is on the radar
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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