My balls are so social today.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
