she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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