Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
