the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
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I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
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Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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