ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
