Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
