can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
