roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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