I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
