The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
