sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize