i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
