I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize