It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I need to sanitize my soul.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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