I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
How naked do you want me to be?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
