i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
