He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
