So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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