he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
