Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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