do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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