Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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