After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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