Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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