No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
