i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
