Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
he shaved USA in his pubs
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
