why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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