You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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