we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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