11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
