...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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