No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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