So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
