Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
