i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
