I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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