woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
