The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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