He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize