either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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