There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You're a waste of cheezeits
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
