This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
