hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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