the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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