Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
