I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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