you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
