Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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